Disclaimer : Garrulous alert
The smaller things in life that led me to draw analogies and conclude co-incidences with the bigger scenario of the real everyday life.
The Hair clip that broke:
Bought it from a suburban fair a few months ago, beaded with childhood nostalgia of water balloons, first ride in Ferris wheel, the chill and thrill of getting lost in the crowd , ice lollies and frocks with frills , the monstrous deity in the temple at the corner…
The crab claw hair clip was translucent blue, shaped like a butterfly. Managed an inexpensive deal sans tiresome bargaining . It was a January afternoon, the rustic northern winds flirted shamelessly with my hair, making them all frizzy and unruly, I remember assigning the task to the new butterfly on my hair to control them.
Never really been much careful about the mirror lady, one favourite hobby being staring straight into her eyes for eternity and getting eerily familiar with the abstract patterns her face deconstructed into, “breaking in, shaping up”.
And then somehow this blue became a treasured friend, taking her everywhere with me. The water dripping down my naked shoulders from freshly showered hair, uncombed and unkempt, she clung on to the edge of the towel as I slowly caressed my tresses dry.
I loved to flaunt her, when not on hair, she would make the fluttery edges of the scarf kiss the handbag, she would keep together the white pages when the owner would be immersed in establishing her mettle in blue ink, she would prohibit the curled up earphones from trespassing.
She bore my moods, I fidgeted with her during PMS whimsies, put her around my nape to mimic a winged tattoo (bucket list, though lower back is a more desired location), let her pull my cheeks on moments when Layer 3 needs kicked in ( after the cycle generally) …
She was with me, everyday, and nights she spent making love to the book I slept with.
So, this one fine evening, my uncontrollable teasing and taunting, she decided to break.
Just as my relationship did, the day after.
There are no miracles in life, only co-incidences. So, my clip broke, did I perceive this as the signal to break free from the lie I was holding onto blindly? Or did this tempt me to experiment if I could live without another thing I consider inseparable to myself.
I never realised the involvement of the blue hair clip in my mundane days, until the day it broke.
So, naturally, it might seem that Kahlil Gibran would have the last laugh on my personal front too,
‘Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation‘
But, the odd thing is, no matter how hard I tried to walk the conventional path, I could not let myself be flustered with inextricable memories, those which suddenly seemed too distant and obscure to touch upon.
I really do not know why I feel so liberated , at my favorite hair clip and person , fading away from my life at the same time. Did the hair clip clutch onto the sordid turbidity troubling my deep waters?
When it could no more, the clamp broke throwing apart the spring that rendered it flexible, and the blue translucent wings drooped, forever.
I had no other hair clips in sight , so tried in vain to put it back together and keep my ever-unruly hair calm in the monsoon afternoon.
It fell from my hand, the edge of one wing chipped.
I tried to put back together the broken pieces of the perfection the other “we” shared, but the same thing repeated, it only shattered more unpleasantly.
Somehow, despite the need , I never felt the urge to search for another hair clip in all these days, I tried once, even the expensive ones didn’t quite trigger the same childlike joy I felt when I first got that translucent butterfly. May be if I give another a chance, it might become even more of a favorite than the butterfly. Who knows?
I have been advising myself to de-clutter my mind and not to overthink, well, this whole episode of rambling is nothing but another procreation of the unaware lovemaking between left and right brains.
It is a mere co-incidence, but it seems fascinating to me how smaller things match up to our bigger issues , and how so often they provide us with the best solution at careless moments.